Mr. Wreath

Mr. Shoehorn & Mr. Crutches (Mr. Products…By You?)

After sifting through tens of entries, the specially-assigned committee dedicated to selecting the “Mr. Product…By You?” has halted its deliberation. While many of the entries were unsatisfactory (it appears many of the contestants believed the sweepstakes called for the invention of a fictional product; for instance, one child named Jimothy Squanto sent us multiple illustrations of a product called “Mista Fwend” which, according to Jimothy, is (sic) “a wobotic guy desined 2 pway Micwo Machines wit me.” Still another child, Agnes Jones, provided us with “Mr. Homewewk”, a machine that appears to be some sort of hydraulic arm that can hold only a pencil and answer multiple choice social studies questions), not ONE, but TWO entries WERE deemed satisfactory, which pleased former President & C.E.O Roscoe Johnson minutes before he succumbed to his medium-length battle with RLS. You will be missed, President Roscoe.

President Roscoe “Leadbelly” Johnson III, 190? – 2009

Here are the fan-created unprofessional adverts from Sierra Grampiani, a middle-aged but well-meaning woman from The Dakotas who, according to her Classmates.com profile, is “still the girl you remember: enjoys chinese checkers, key club, walking, reading informative periodicals, regular checkers, and collecting glassware.”

Mr. Noggy

Mr. Clean

Mr. Emoticon Jr.

Mr. Emoticon

Mr. Floppy

Mr. Old Computer

Mr. Notebook

(for customers with poor eyesight, simply left-click the “JPEG image” for automatic enlargement)

Shawn Benette® for Mr. Product™

discover the mr. product collection you’ve possibly anticipated—by clicking the hyperlink below.